HSG has begun pestering DA

HSG: Alright, this time I have something that will make your smelly, abused vagina so moist that you’ll have no choice but to use your…
HSG: >impresive art skills
HSG: to do my commission.
DA: ~!UUUUGGGHHH!~ (>.<)
DA: THERES N O WAY! im going 2 draw u having sex with me NO MATER WAT u try 2 give me
DA: ask me 2 draw something nice and i will, but not that!!!
HSG: Alright, first, RAPING, I’m commissioning a picture of me RAPING you, that bit is important.
HSG: And second, I told you this is an offer you can’t refuse.
DA: FINE! Just tell me so i can say no (-_-)
HSG: Alright, get this.
HSG: I just alchemized TBR’s wolf plush with a dragon figurine and a pack of skittles.
HSG: It’s a Dragonwolf with rainbow hair.
HSG: It is a fucking abomination beyond comprehension.
HSG: And it’s all yours.
DA: °O°
HSG: That’s right baby, you know the price, now give daddy some sweet, non-consensual sugar.
DA: Ergh(;_;)
HSG: You know you want to, just give in to that trembling between your bulbous legs.
HSG: It’s name is Moonclaw you know.
DA: FINE!!! I’ll do it. give me a minute
HSG: NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!

DA uploaded NASTY.jpeg

HSG: Ooo baby, I’m getting butterflys here, after all this time, you finally did it.
HSG: My mouse lingers over the file, yet my palm shakes, sweat dots my brow, and my stomach feels as if it is floating about, all at the mere thought of what dance of beauty and repugnance await behind this veil of mystery.
HSG: To end this sweet sensation of anticipation by pressing onward feels like waste.
DA: just hurry up
DA: i think u will like it ʘ‿ʘ
HSG: Here we go…
HSG: Wait, oh God.
DA: =^_^=
HSG: Is that… no they’re both me…
HSG: Why are they, oh God
HSG: Why would you
DA: i thought this would be the thing u were into (^_~)
HSG: Jesus fuck
HSG: I’m going to go throw up, and then I’m going to go alchemize this plush monstrosity into some fucking explosive to blow your house up with.

HSG blocked DA

HSG: Tumblr.
HSG: We’ve been through a lot together these past few weeks and…
HSG: Well,
HSG: I have something very important to show you.
HSG: Here, I drew this for you.
[HSG has sent you ohtumblrurfukinmybutthole.png]
HSG: Well, now you know how I feel, I guess.
HSG: If you want to maybe talk sometime or maybe do something after all this is over, just message me, or something.
HSG:…please.

HSG is ridiculously moody, and the success of any sort of interaction with him is up to chance. Talk to him in the morning, he might be terse and non-communicative. Later, he might be playful and sociable. Later still, he may be venomous and hurtful. And, once in a while, well, he just might be the chilliest motherfucker you ever did meet. All of these different moods and habits combine to form a sort of collective person, with the general core qualities of wicked playfulness, subversiveness, a love of the non-conventional and a curious mind. Unfortunately, HSG’s reputation precedes him. Due to the nature of his mood, he’s mostly known for being kind of a ridiculous jerk. He would be the first to agree with this assessment, and also the first to disagree, laying a significant portion of the blame onto those who are too sensitive or those who he feels deserve his ire. He hates hypocrisy, loving to point it out in others, yet being strangely silent about his own faults. The irony is not lost on him, and he frequently, but internally, berates himself for it. A strange mix of self-loathing and self-superiority emerge, leading to conflicting feelings about both his own qualities and those around him. HSG’s policy on what he deems acceptable and unacceptable on a given day puts him at a weird position relative to the others. Something as innocuous as loving the trolls over the kids may set him off, but the craziest porn and most disturbing scenarios don’t at all faze him.

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Blog opened.

MPF joined blog.

DA joined blog.

HSG joined blog.

TBR joined blog.

MPF: okay guys we have to talk about the denziens!

HSG: are you seriously doing John’s typing quirk

MPF: maybe.

HSG: ugh

DA: I hope mine is cute :3

HSG: hey fats

DA: that’s mean :(

TBR: Seriously not cool. Don’t be #negative.

HSG: it is a literally true statement

HSG: how very typical of you, to ignore truth in favor of your bullshit

MPF: uhh.

TBR: There’s still no reason to be an asshole about it!

HSG: if she can’t handle the truth it ain’t my problem

TBR: Fucking ableist asshole. I bet you call homosexuals “faggot” to their face, too

HSG: depends on how cute they are

MPF: why do I even invite you two to these blogs. :(

On a fundamental level, MSPAF is an incredibly polite, friendly young man who just wants everyone around him to get along. The fact that the fanbase is so split up and antagonistic is incredibly distressing to him. To this end, he thinks the best way to keep everyone happy is to move lockstep with the (perceived) wishes of The Storyteller and His Enforcers. He is always sure to read exactly what is written, and never assume anything more. He will only read fanfiction if it is a canon pairing, and is always sure to make note of even the slightest differences between the fanfiction author’s portrayal and the “true” portrayal. He only buys commissions from artists who have officially contacted The Storyteller, and is mortified by the idea of others not doing the same. While he genuinely believes following all the rules is the only way to friendship, he doesn’t enforce them on anyone. He believes that everyone will come round on their own, and everyone will be happy then. However, he isn’t an absolute boyscout. When nobody else is watching, MSPAF loves Kanaya<3Jade, a non-canon ship involving an unconfirmed sexuality. He believes they’re absolutely adorable, and would make each other very happy. However, he feels incredibly guilty about this, like he’s betraying his beloved Storyteller.

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Tumblr is your standard issue whitebread girl, and she cannot fucking stand it. She desperately wants to be some sort of oppressed minority, Were that the case, she would have an “excuse” for her insecurities and so on, something she could “blame.” To that end, she dressed androgynously and occasionally comes up with new and exciting ways of defining her sexuality. She is incredibly politically correct and an activist for pretty much everything, setting herself up as a an accepting type, despite her inherent judgementalness. She is always sure to include trigger warnings for even the most minute elements, and will berate and crusade against even the slightest faux-pas (dropping a “cripple,” for example) from anyone else. Tumblr thinks of herself as the most mature of the group, justifying her own indulgences like shipping and non-canon writings.

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Like all the characters, DA has significant identity issues. In her case, she’s an obsessive weeaboo fangirl. In reality, she’s very talented for her age, and could one day surpass Tumblr and become a real artist. Unfortunately, she spends all her time drawing terrible anime art, because her identiy as a weeaboo is all she really has. At her core, she’s a kindhearted romantic, and wants to express herself as such. This manifests as her obsessive crush on HSG, which is rebuffed at every opportunity. The long term effect of such is unknown, but the fact she keeps on seeking affection from such a source is troubling and indicative of some deeper issues.

She looks up to Tumblr like a big sister. She’s so cool and confident, knows exactly who she is, is internet popular, and all that. She wants to BE tumblr, or, at least, the person she believes tumblr to be. But since tumblr will often hammer home how much better she is, this is also emotionally unhealthy.

courtesy of anon

art by annsterdam